I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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