Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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