My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
MIDGETS
????
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
