I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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