Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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