I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
