Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
