omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
