I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
