Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
