If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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