shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
