ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
