i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
3pm strippers are depressing
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
