ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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