Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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