Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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