I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
