I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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