it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
