This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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