I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
