A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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