So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
