I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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