If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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