so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
