Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
