i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
