Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
