but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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