wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
