i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
only you would photoshop your dick
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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