Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
