dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
