I heard we made out
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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