My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
