it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize