Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
