Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
