Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He uses pillows to masturbate.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
