Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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