I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
