I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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