he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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