I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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