apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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