He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
