I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
