Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
