she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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