So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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