If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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