im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
