My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
