she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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