I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
