I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
